Mrs. Moo, Infant Extraordinaire

On December 10, 2013, a wondrous event occurred. After much excruciating pain (yes, even with an epidural that labor thing hurts) on mom's part, Madeline Lorraine Stinchfield burst into the world sporting a stank eye and an impressive set of lungs. She was in quite the hurry to arrive, it seems, making her mark on the world at a gestational age of 37 weeks and 1 day. That morning, I rolled over and thought that I had peed myself. Again. You know, because being pregnant makes you pee yourself on occasion. True story. So that was my first thought: "Must have peed myself again". Putting one foot on the floor, I began what I thought would be a journey to the bathroom to clean myself up. Instead, with one foot down, I began a different journey, one that I had confidently assumed wouldn't begin for another few weeks. A journey that I'm only beginning but loving thoroughly. This blog entry is rather late. My intention in starting a blog was to document my dear child's life from the very beginning. Yes, I actually had a picture of myself sitting in the hospital bed after giving birth blogging about it. Oh my. Oh, oh, oh, my. Oh, former self. Did you really have any clue about this whole having a baby thing? Apparently not, since all you really achieved that first night was a painful pee or two and a mouthful of hospital mystery meat. The idea of blogging after having a 7 pound child ripped from my nether regions just seems so laughable now. So. Here I am. Maddie is 2 months old and change, and, as she naps (probably for another 10 minutes), I am churning out my first blog entry. Go me! So let's start with the basics: Madeline is rarely referred to as Madeline or even Maddie. Instead, she has acquired several charming nicknames. The most common moniker is Moo. Or Mrs. Moo. Or The Moo. Or perhaps The Mooster. I have no idea how this got started, but the entire family now refers to our child as the noise a cow makes. Poor kid. Flash forward to a conversation with Madeline's very concerned pre-K teacher, who cannot understand why my kid is having an identity crisis.... Other things about Mrs. Moo: Moo Fact #1: Mrs. Moo has some reflux issues. We're trying to resolve these problems, but in the meantime, let me just say this. Reflux sucks. A lot. Watching her writhe around in pain after eating breaks my heart and makes me cry. Hopefully by tonight, we shall have a prescription for Prevacid. We tried Zantac, which sucked even more that reflux. Fail. Prevacid, our hopes are pinned on you. Don't let me down. Moo Fact #2: Mrs. Moo likes to eat. A lot. And often. Be aware, when denied immediate relief from the urge to nosh, Mrs. Moo becomes quite hangry. And Hangry Moo is terrifying Moo. The stuff of nightmares. Avoid letting The Moo get hangry. All of this hanger, however, has lead to very good things. At her two month doctor's appointment, Mrs. Moo was in the 85th percentile for height and the 66th for weight. Mrs. Moo has chubby cheeks and fat rolls on her thighs. The doctor was pleased with her chub and gave her a passing grade. Score. At almost ten weeks, Mrs. Moo eats between 4-6 ounces per feeding. I am told that this is the amount of food that the average 4 month old consumes. My girl is awesome.... Moo Fact #3: Mrs. Moo sleeps through the night most nights. This started somewhere around 6 or 7 weeks. Mrs. Moo has skills. She usually starts to cluster feed late in the evening, building a surplus of food to get her through the night. It's both impressive and unsettling to witness this tiny person taking in such massive amounts of grub, but it seems to work. That's all that matters, right? During her cluster feeding extravaganzas, The Moo eats with such a desperate urgency that one might think that her very survival depends upon it. Amusing and a little scary all at once. Moo Fact #4: Moo is a bobble head. She has been picking up her head since the day she was born. When I burp her on my shoulder, I must remain ever vigilant that Moo may, at any moment, head butt me and cause me grave injury. Pretty sure I've got a future head banger on my hands. So these are the basics. I plan to continue this blog, I promise. Moo, I want you to look back on this blog someday, sitting around a table at some holiday family gathering far in the future, and I want you to laugh about the fact that you were a chubby little bobble head. I also want you to always remember that you are and always will be oh so loved.